Wow, Sarah! A powerful “sequel” to your earlier post! It’s a long read, but definitely worth the time and effort to not just read it, but also study it, and consider the many points you raised. One of my favorite points that you raised is the difference between prayer and meditation, with prayer being relational, whereas meditation is not. Thank you for the time and the effort you put into this piece. It bears reading and rereading and, yes, some quiet contemplation (neither prayer nor meditation) to consider the point you have made.
Love this. I am reading Sharon Blackie’s book “The Enchanted Life”—she has a substack here on Enchantment and a lot of points here resonate so well! I am learning this in my life as well. Also a millennial, I was raised in a survival atmosphere—there was no room for joy or goodness. In my adult life and now in my late 30s I am trying to learn! For my children but for myself too. The feeling of “Goodness” does not come naturally to me. As if I am not allowed to feel this. Maybe many millennials feel the same.💔❤️🩹❤️
Ooooh I’d love to read that! Thanks for the recommendation.
Yeah I completely resonate with the “survival” mechanism. I think it’s a very common experience for Millennials. I think we grew up learning to be very cynical and suspicious of The Good.
Choosing Hope almost feels like an act of rebellion.
“One of the biggest myths we have inherited from empire culture is the myth that we have to appear to be smart, strong and successful. All of the time.
The mask of bravado is a surefire way to kill intimacy. Again, I know this to be true from personal experience.”
And Prayer. Most important. I am loving Fr. Thomas Keating and Centering Prayer.
Yes, but everything turns on why people come to believe this is true. Do they believe it’s true because a bunch of podcasters and substackers say it’s good for them? One thing among a bunch of others in a flattened, therapeutic listicle about how to improve your empty millenial life?
Or — do they believe this because it follows from beliefs they have about their nature and the nature of the world. Charles Taylor was right in this sense — that disenchantment is rooted in the widespread belief in reductive naturalism that starts around the 17c. Most people don’t conceive of their beliefs in those terms, but if you ask them about what they think the prevailing view is, they’d offer something quite similar.
The key to re-enchantment is coming to understand that reductive naturalism is false. If an organism’s purposes haven’t been reduced to math and chemistry it’s pretty easy to accept a non-reductive view about the purpose of human life. So human life is enchanted. Similar story for facts about the good, the beautiful, and the true. If you can see why no attempt to reduce those has been successful, it’s pretty easy to believe that the world is unproblematically enchanted.
A commitment to connection falls out from that because it is part of what human beings are for. But re-enchantment turns on a lot more than connection — first we’ve got to shake off a lot of really bad philosophy and scientism.
Found you this morning with the first article written to Boomers and came directly to this one. Great insights.
I especially liked your starting point of the hemispheres of the brain. Even though I’m a Gen Xer, most of my friends are Millennials. A lot of what you describe lacking in the lives of Millennials (much of which should have been learned/gained through childhood) can be learned in adulthood—as you present here.
Dr. Marcus Warner has a great little book called Breakthrough: Five Essential Strategies for Freedom, Healing, and Wholeness. In it he describes four good ideas that neutralized western (evangelical) Christianity and ties it to attachment theories. His work is very accessible to the lay person, and I especially love it because he has lots of simple exercises one can do to become a healthy and whole adult who has emotional “bounce” in all the ups and downs of life.
He writes, “Emotional maturity is primarily about two areas of development. First it is about developing a strong identity. Second it is about developing the skills and capacity needed to regulate our emotions. Emotional maturity can be defined as the ability to act like myself, even under stress. To understand this, it can help to look at the process by which our sense of identity grows from birth to adulthood.
As babies, the part of our brains that knows who we are is largely undeveloped. This part of the brain grows through thousands of relational experiences. The driving force behind our identity development is attachment. As babies bond to their mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, grandparents, and aunts and uncles, these attachments form a collection of memories that tell the baby: This is who you are. These are your people. You are like them.
Without the proper maturity development, people will lack the skills and capacity to deal with their emotions. This kind of immaturity makes it almost impossible to act like ourselves when things go wrong. It also makes it much more likely that we will get stuck in unwanted emotions with no idea how to recover.
It may help to think of the left brain is where our narratives about life are stored (that is, our beliefs) and the right brain is where attachments are formed and our sense of group identity develops. Bringing the two parts of the brain together for a healthy core identity might look like this:
Left brain narrative: I am deeply loved by God. Right brain attachment: I feel safe and secure.
Left brain narrative: I am a child of God. Right brain attachment: I feel peace.
Left brain narrative: It is like me to love others well. Right brain attachment: I can bounce back from hard emotions.
Left brain narrative: My people return good for evil. Right brain attachment: I share joy with others easily.
What we believe about ourselves is important, but when it comes to identity formation there is something even deeper than our beliefs. When we learn to form joy-filled attachments and we get our beliefs anchored in our identity in Christ, we have a powerful one-two punch that makes for a very stable sense of self.”
He proposes that maturity comes from learning to know who we are, that is developing a healthy identity in Christ, AND developing the skills and capacity to remain who we are under stress, creating resilience. That resilience will allow our identity to drive the way we handle emotions.
Now, in my 50’s, I am convinced that many of the people in my life who have walked away from Christianity haven’t really walked away from God. They walked away from a set of propositions. Cultivating a life of prayer, as you suggest, is paramount to attaching to God and building a stable identity. I don’t know about your little corner of the Christian world, but here in the evangelical churches of the southern United States, we are sorely lacking in wise guides to help us cultivate a life of prayer. They’re here and there, but you have to search.
This is incredible. I loved the essay that preceded this one (reading large chunks of it out loud to my husband, to the point where I was like, “Should I just read the whole thing to you? I should just read the whole thing.”).
And I was delighted that you’d followed it up with such a hands-on piece. Thanks for making Millennials feel seen. And thanks for the hope.
Great stuff!!!! Wow just subbed. I recently wrote a post adjacent to the point you are making. Would love to hear your thoughts, but no pressure of course.
Wow, Sarah! A powerful “sequel” to your earlier post! It’s a long read, but definitely worth the time and effort to not just read it, but also study it, and consider the many points you raised. One of my favorite points that you raised is the difference between prayer and meditation, with prayer being relational, whereas meditation is not. Thank you for the time and the effort you put into this piece. It bears reading and rereading and, yes, some quiet contemplation (neither prayer nor meditation) to consider the point you have made.
Well done!
Thanks so much Jay! Very kind of you to say ☺️
Not “kind” - sincere. 😎
HI Sarah, you have crystallized several similar trains of thought on the causes of brokenness around me. Some very positive things to focus on too.
Thanks Catherine! x
I love your writing, and I highly recommend Kathleen DeVanneys substack regarding enchantment. This is her most recent post.
https://substack.com/home/post/p-158912079
Thanks! Will give her a read!
Love this. I am reading Sharon Blackie’s book “The Enchanted Life”—she has a substack here on Enchantment and a lot of points here resonate so well! I am learning this in my life as well. Also a millennial, I was raised in a survival atmosphere—there was no room for joy or goodness. In my adult life and now in my late 30s I am trying to learn! For my children but for myself too. The feeling of “Goodness” does not come naturally to me. As if I am not allowed to feel this. Maybe many millennials feel the same.💔❤️🩹❤️
Ooooh I’d love to read that! Thanks for the recommendation.
Yeah I completely resonate with the “survival” mechanism. I think it’s a very common experience for Millennials. I think we grew up learning to be very cynical and suspicious of The Good.
Choosing Hope almost feels like an act of rebellion.
Ooo an act of rebellion. I like that.
Love this.
“One of the biggest myths we have inherited from empire culture is the myth that we have to appear to be smart, strong and successful. All of the time.
The mask of bravado is a surefire way to kill intimacy. Again, I know this to be true from personal experience.”
And Prayer. Most important. I am loving Fr. Thomas Keating and Centering Prayer.
Thanks so much!
“The key to re-enchantment is connection.”
Yes, but everything turns on why people come to believe this is true. Do they believe it’s true because a bunch of podcasters and substackers say it’s good for them? One thing among a bunch of others in a flattened, therapeutic listicle about how to improve your empty millenial life?
Or — do they believe this because it follows from beliefs they have about their nature and the nature of the world. Charles Taylor was right in this sense — that disenchantment is rooted in the widespread belief in reductive naturalism that starts around the 17c. Most people don’t conceive of their beliefs in those terms, but if you ask them about what they think the prevailing view is, they’d offer something quite similar.
The key to re-enchantment is coming to understand that reductive naturalism is false. If an organism’s purposes haven’t been reduced to math and chemistry it’s pretty easy to accept a non-reductive view about the purpose of human life. So human life is enchanted. Similar story for facts about the good, the beautiful, and the true. If you can see why no attempt to reduce those has been successful, it’s pretty easy to believe that the world is unproblematically enchanted.
A commitment to connection falls out from that because it is part of what human beings are for. But re-enchantment turns on a lot more than connection — first we’ve got to shake off a lot of really bad philosophy and scientism.
Found you this morning with the first article written to Boomers and came directly to this one. Great insights.
I especially liked your starting point of the hemispheres of the brain. Even though I’m a Gen Xer, most of my friends are Millennials. A lot of what you describe lacking in the lives of Millennials (much of which should have been learned/gained through childhood) can be learned in adulthood—as you present here.
Dr. Marcus Warner has a great little book called Breakthrough: Five Essential Strategies for Freedom, Healing, and Wholeness. In it he describes four good ideas that neutralized western (evangelical) Christianity and ties it to attachment theories. His work is very accessible to the lay person, and I especially love it because he has lots of simple exercises one can do to become a healthy and whole adult who has emotional “bounce” in all the ups and downs of life.
He writes, “Emotional maturity is primarily about two areas of development. First it is about developing a strong identity. Second it is about developing the skills and capacity needed to regulate our emotions. Emotional maturity can be defined as the ability to act like myself, even under stress. To understand this, it can help to look at the process by which our sense of identity grows from birth to adulthood.
As babies, the part of our brains that knows who we are is largely undeveloped. This part of the brain grows through thousands of relational experiences. The driving force behind our identity development is attachment. As babies bond to their mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, grandparents, and aunts and uncles, these attachments form a collection of memories that tell the baby: This is who you are. These are your people. You are like them.
Without the proper maturity development, people will lack the skills and capacity to deal with their emotions. This kind of immaturity makes it almost impossible to act like ourselves when things go wrong. It also makes it much more likely that we will get stuck in unwanted emotions with no idea how to recover.
It may help to think of the left brain is where our narratives about life are stored (that is, our beliefs) and the right brain is where attachments are formed and our sense of group identity develops. Bringing the two parts of the brain together for a healthy core identity might look like this:
Left brain narrative: I am deeply loved by God. Right brain attachment: I feel safe and secure.
Left brain narrative: I am a child of God. Right brain attachment: I feel peace.
Left brain narrative: It is like me to love others well. Right brain attachment: I can bounce back from hard emotions.
Left brain narrative: My people return good for evil. Right brain attachment: I share joy with others easily.
What we believe about ourselves is important, but when it comes to identity formation there is something even deeper than our beliefs. When we learn to form joy-filled attachments and we get our beliefs anchored in our identity in Christ, we have a powerful one-two punch that makes for a very stable sense of self.”
He proposes that maturity comes from learning to know who we are, that is developing a healthy identity in Christ, AND developing the skills and capacity to remain who we are under stress, creating resilience. That resilience will allow our identity to drive the way we handle emotions.
Now, in my 50’s, I am convinced that many of the people in my life who have walked away from Christianity haven’t really walked away from God. They walked away from a set of propositions. Cultivating a life of prayer, as you suggest, is paramount to attaching to God and building a stable identity. I don’t know about your little corner of the Christian world, but here in the evangelical churches of the southern United States, we are sorely lacking in wise guides to help us cultivate a life of prayer. They’re here and there, but you have to search.
Thanks for the conversation!
This is incredible. I loved the essay that preceded this one (reading large chunks of it out loud to my husband, to the point where I was like, “Should I just read the whole thing to you? I should just read the whole thing.”).
And I was delighted that you’d followed it up with such a hands-on piece. Thanks for making Millennials feel seen. And thanks for the hope.
Great stuff!!!! Wow just subbed. I recently wrote a post adjacent to the point you are making. Would love to hear your thoughts, but no pressure of course.
https://substack.com/@dbtaylor/note/p-160335768?r=22o631&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action